


Back and Forth with Light: France

by socially_anxious



Series: TXT in Europe [2]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: (kind of), Contemplation, Existentialism, France (Country), Other, Sunsets, Takes place in France, beomgyu is in his feels for this one, my long ass authors notes, southern france, the boys watching the sunset, there are a lot of thoughts, yeonbin is only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:22:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25089139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/socially_anxious/pseuds/socially_anxious
Summary: It feels like time has stopped. Most of the pink has bled out of the clouds now, leaving them gray, but no less stunning. Instead, the gray against the dark blue of the sky feels calming, contributing to the stillness of the moment..Beomgyu is able to calm down the fast pace of his life while watching a sunset on a rooftop in the South of France.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, mentioned
Series: TXT in Europe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816021
Kudos: 7





	Back and Forth with Light: France

**Author's Note:**

> *Title from "Hey, Ma" by Bon Iver.  
> If you want to read this the way I wrote it, please listen to "Hey, Ma" by Bon Iver for the first bit of this fic (until Yeonjun and Soobin leave the rooftop). After, listen to "Medicine" by Daughter for the rest of the fic. I wrote this with those two songs playing on loop, and I think it makes the experience better.

Back and Forth with Light: France

Being in a car for thirteen hours could really take its toll on you. That’s why even though Beomgyu is excited to be in the South of France for the first time, instead of looking around the small town he and the members were staying in for the next week as the rest all had, he’d taken a nap.

Listen, he knows that you shouldn’t sleep immediately when you come to a new country unless it’s night, but anyone who was in that car for so long would’ve agreed with him, it was deserved.

Upon entering the small house they would be staying in he’d claimed the only single-bed room. The room with two singles would be for Kai and Taehyun. Kai didn’t like to be alone for anything, really, convincing Taehyun to stay with him. The room with a queen had been quickly claimed by Yeonjun and Soobin. No one had argued, who would get in the way of Yeonjun trying to smother his boyfriend with blankets and love?

With a room to himself, Beomgyu got to shut the door, put on some music, and quickly fall into a deep, comfortable sleep. No one could stop him, it was his room.

It really was nice. With sleep so rare due to their normal schedule as idols, being able to nap for such a long time was like luxury.

It felt like Beomgyu had just shut his eyes, when a soft voice and a hand shaking his shoulders bring him back into waking.

“Beom. Hey Beom.”

He groans, cracking his eyes open to see Soobin standing over him with a soft smile.

“Hey, wake up for a bit.”

Sitting up Beomgyu nods, rubbing at his eyes groggily, trying to get them to come into focus.

Soobin continues to whisper in his soft voice. “I thought I should wake you up for this. We found a ladder to the roof. We have a blanket up there and we’re gonna watch the sunset if you want to come. It’s really pretty.”

“Sure hyung, I’ll be up in a minute.” He says, wiping his eyes and sitting up.

His window, left ajar after he opened it to cool down, is now lightly hitting against the wall as it swings from the wind. He goes over to close it, slipping on a pair of shoes and heading outside.

The air isn’t cold, but the wind is blowing, giving him chills. On the side of the house he finds the ladder, walking over to it and climbing up.

The other members are already there when he arrives. Yeonjun’s got his head on Soobin’s shoulder, an arm slung around his waist. Kai is on the other side of Soobin, patting his belly as he leans over to Taehyun to whisper something in his ear.

Yeonjun must hear him come up because he turns around to look at him.

“Hey, Beomgyu’s up!” He whisper-shouts, raising one of his arms in a cheer.

The others turn around to see him too, Taehyun patting the spot next to him for Beomgyu to sit.

“Now that we’re all here, can I put on some vibes?” Taehyun asks them, pulling his phone out from his pocket and waving it at them. At the nod from Soobin he pulls up his Spotify and puts on some calming guitar music. The cicadas from earlier must’ve stopped while Beomgyu was asleep he realizes, noticing how the music is uninterrupted.

The sunset really is beautiful. The bottom of the clouds light up in soft pinks and purples. The horizon is an ombre of every color, delicate pinky-oranges all the way to deep blues above them where the sun doesn’t reach anymore.

He lets out a sigh at the view. When he glances over to see the others, they’re just as immersed as he is. The air feels magical, surrounding them in an impenetrable bubble where only they exist.

It’s not every day that they have such an opportunity like this, and Beomgyu can’t help but to soak in the feeling. He grabs at the blanket under him and pulls it around him, a safe cocoon of warmth.

Kai breaks the silence, asking carefully. “Do you think this will become one of those moments? The ones that we remember forever?” Out of the corner of his eye, Beomgyu can see Yeonjun nodding from his place draped over Soobin.

The song playing changes, soft piano filling the silence. The trees around them rustle softly as the wind picks up, swaying to and fro. No one speaks anymore, not wanting to break the stillness of the world.

The sky has changed color again, the horizon is more yellow now, and the bottoms of the clouds have all turned a delicate shade of pink, a match to the bush of flowers Beomgyu can see growing near the house.

At some point, Taehyun and Kai decide to leave, quietly announcing that they’re going to sleep now. Beomgyu looks over to Soobin and Yeonjun, the three of them still on the roof. Yeonjun has his eyes closed and is leaning against the taller, breathing slowly as Soobin looks down at him with fond eyes.

“Hyung.” Soobin softly nudges the elder, carefully waking him up.

Yeonjun opens his eyes slowly, looking up to Soobin, love filling his eyes. Beomgyu blushes and looks away, feeling too much like he’s intruding on a private moment.

The two of them softly mumble to each other before standing, Soobin turning to look at him. “Are you gonna come in?” He asks quietly.

Beomgyu shakes his head. “No, I’ll come in later, but I want to stay out for a bit longer.” Soobin nods in understanding, placing his arm around Yeonjun and helping him down the ladder before they go into the house.

He can hear as the door clicks shut, letting out a breath and looking back to the sunset. Without Taehyun’s music, it’s quiet. Only crickets and the sounds of the trees brushing against each other left to fill the space. He grabs his phone and puts on his own music, moving quickly so he doesn’t miss much of the sunset.

With music on again, his thoughts melt into the background, mind too overwhelmed with the rest of his senses.

It feels like time has stopped. Most of the pink has bled out of the clouds now, leaving them gray, but no less stunning. Instead, the gray against the dark blue of the sky feels calming, contributing to the stillness of the moment.

Despite the color having left the clouds, there’s still color in the sky. The horizon is a gentle yellow, flowing through greens and cerulean blues before getting to the infinity of dark night sky. The ridges of the mountain are dark black against the yellow of the horizon, allowing Beomgyu to make out some of the individual trees topping them.

The wind no longer feels sharp or harshly cold, instead taking on a comforting feeling. It swirls in tandem with the music, the trees dancing to accompany the falling of the light.

Time stops as he feels every inch of his skin being softly caressed by the wind. It brushes through his hair, against his legs, curling up and around his chest and arms. It breathes through him, with him.

Sounds become muffled as he continues to look out. They’re still there, just melting away a bit, as if a pillow is resting around his head, letting sound take a backseat, a less important roll.

When he gazes up, a single star is visible through the clouds, covering up the infinity of space. As he looks back at the horizon, he can see the light finally start to inch away. The rest of the yellows, greens and blues retreat behind the mountain for rest, leaving him alone in the still dark of the night.

He knows that time will have to start again when he goes back down into the house, but he can’t help but sit there for a moment, letting the everything dance away on the wind. It feels surreal, like everything and nothing all at once.

Nothing moves except for the up and down of his chest as he breathes. It’s in that careful way one does when something unbelievable is happening, like he doesn’t want to break a spell.

With the colors gone, he looks up, watching the clouds as they slowly whirl around the stars, deciding which ones to show and which to cover.

Bright ones are able to peek through, even from behind the thin clouds. Every once in a while, a new batch of stars will be uncovered, bringing new light and depth to the painting of the sky. The clouds move out of their way, surrounding the portrait in a swirling silver frame. It’s nothing gaudy, just something delicate, something created to make the beauty more than it already was.

A bat arcs its way through the panorama above him, and suddenly he can feel every hair on his body and the way the wind moves them. Every little piece of his being, laid out carefully, neatly in front of him. The rhythm of his life, as well as those he’s affected, scattered out across his vision and flowing through his veins.

It’s overwhelming, the knowing of this.

And maybe when the world starts turning again, when gravity pulls him back, maybe then he’ll be able to take a breath and live.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if that made any sense or just sounded like the random word of someone not completely okay.  
> The last fic in this series was mostly just my imagination and a location that I find calming. This fic is basically something I went through in the South of France, but skipping all the depressing parts, so it feels much closer to me.  
> When I was in France, I wasn't at my best. My dysphoria (I'm FTM) was really bad, and my depression was coming back. Although I had my sisters (who are my best friends), which are represented by the members of TXT, I just wasn't okay. The only time I felt whole again was when I was writing (but I was dealing with writers block), or watching the sunset.  
> We had this great view of the sunset, and every night I would go out to watch it for hours until the sun was completely gone and the stars were out. I wouldn’t watch it from the roof, but the wall of the property we were staying on was thick enough for me to lay down. I just wrote it as a roof for the story. The two songs I recommended for this fic were two of the songs I would listen to when I went out. I don't know, it just made me forget about all the other stuff going on and focus on the beauty of the world, so I wrote this based off that.  
> Anyways, sorry for the long authors note (I tend to do that). If you have anything to add, ideas you want to share, or anything you want to tell someone (relevant and irrelevant) please comment it and I will try to reply as quickly as I can.  
> Thank you for reading and hopefully enjoying this story, I hope to see you on some of my other works sometime. Bye !  
> -socially_anxious


End file.
